Finally I understood enough to reply your answer. I who stood speechless before a beauty adorned in nature’s green. I asked and you replied, an answer to which I now have meaning. A little word whose meaning is dipped in wonder, her words left me hanging by my tongue unsure of the knowledge she gave.
Her words bit into my souls, as reality dawned on me. An impossible situation was my reality, I perceived but never dreamt of a life without her. A bowel filled with nature’s trills and beauty, she will never be mine to cherish or worship anymore.
Her words filled with power held my heart to ransom. Her reply stopped time with my mind’s eye, I waited for the unavoidable certainty to meet reality. Who I am now and what I will become? Were birthed by her reply, all questions of doubt feeding off uncertainty.
Few hours ago, I was ignorant. Blinded by what will become forbidden, filled with ecstasy of the one that was leaving. I love the empty space she will never fill, cherished the spot on the couch she loved but will never hold her warmth again. I held her early morning mug staring at the curves of her name, it was all that remained of her.
We dug a well filled with joyous memories, only for it to turn sour. Condemned to rot with time, pain is my only reprieve. She flooded my heart with desire, drowning me the want of her warmth and glory of her being. I sucked on my sores hoping to relieve the pain, but the pain was internal hidden in layers upon layer of sour memories.
I never wanted these words, but she never thought of that. I wondered deep in my being of the possibilities of never asking. I will forever curse this moment when all I held dear turn sour. When what was mine became forbidden. I will remember you ‘time’ for you were the friend who never warned and you heart, who kept on deceiving me through the signs. I look at this day remembering those bitter words that could not be unheard.