My tears dried way too early for my age, as at the age of eight I already had an idea of what it felt like to have a single parent. At the age of eleven I cried more than I ate and at the age of thirteen my tears dried up even though I kept wailing. I am 21 now and still I wailing but my eyes are as dry as the surface of the sun, but within I am filled to brim with a sea of salty tears.
You wouldn’t have seen how close I was to tears, many never even bother to look they just assume that I am ok. The bitter truth is am always bitter inside, I am the first child of a single mother of two, I loved my mother and she loved me but things were just too difficult for her. I have lost counts of the nights she had to cry herself to sleep. She was always struggling, always working trying to make the best she could for me and my sister.
It might look normal to you, but it always caused me pain to see someone I loved so much try too hard for me to find something to eat, somewhere to sleep and a home live. I have seen my mother go hungry for days when her pockets experienced famine so that we could eat, or was it the insults she got while begging for the fees for our tuition, I saw it all with tears dripping from my face. Do you now understand why I am bitter? I couldn’t ask any more from a mother who had given me everything she could, but the truth was it was never enough our needs just grew as I grew. Now do you see why my sea of tears is always full to the brim, because many just think the plight of a single parent is easy? The truth is never as you see it, they ask you to get a book in school you run home to tell daddy he gives you money but in my case I cry first because I know the pain am about to make my mother pass through.
I have no story without my mother, she is the only one who read the map of scars on my body. I will tell you that it was difficult leaving my loving mother, because before you mother naked I always stand devoid of all secrets. It was one of the things I cherished the most because when I cried she understood and cried with me sharing in my pain and anguish. My experience as a child was very challenging but it made me grow fast, life never gave me a quarter for the fact I had a single parent. My friends thought it normal to have a single mother, some ignorantly told me I had it easy that I was lucky to have a mother like her. I would agree that I was lucky to have a mother such like I had but having it easy is an understatement because I am who I am today because of the blood and sweat my mother spilled.
My life may look or seem normal, but I was hurt beyond what your little sorry can heal. I still have the scars to show for the life I lived. My story may look ordinary and unworthy of being told but it is my untold story and I will never forget it. So when next you see a child raised by a single mother remember that they might not have had it as easily as you think, even though you don’t see it they shed tears for the parent they could have had and the childhood they could have enjoyed. If you doubt my story ask a child of a single parent born of strife, maybe then you will gain the wisdom to see the dry tears behind guarded hearts.