My head felt like a bludgeon had made a home in it, my neck felt missing like a guillotine had taken it off. I was rumbling in a sea of disorder thoughts, looking for the shore of consciousness. I remembered the car, the arrival at the black party but many of what transpired that night was lost in a sea of memories, it was like my mind didn’t want to remember.

My buttocks felt sore, my mouth taste weird. It was like I had forgotten how my body should feel like, there was pain everywhere and more pain in my precious region which drew me into more confusion as I tried to piece together how and what happened. The marks on my skin and feelings in my body were the only evidence of what transpired the night before.

I feel the assault of the cold floor on my skin as I try to pick myself together. Getting up felt like standing up after a marathon, all my muscles resisted crying foul. I open my pin pricked eyes to find myself in a foreign abode, dull of senses as the light painfully dug into my iris, I dragged my sluggish legs beneath me searching for meaning in so much confusion.

As I took my first step I nearly fell as my feet wobbled. It was then I noticed that my panties were missing, I kept moving because the possibilities going through my mind scared me. I took one painful step after another looking for the door, it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do because all my body scream rest, all I wanted was to curling up and go to sleep but the fear I had kept me going. I was barely holding on when I saw the first rays of sunshine, all I knew was that time seemed to slow as I push the door into the traitorous warmth of sun. It was then I allowed myself to rest, trying to piece together what I had just experienced. I hoped all my worries will evaporate and everything will be a dream, little did I know that knowing was the last thing I ever wanted.

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Bane of virgins, scum of earth and curse of the ignorant. You who took my dignity without my consent, I curse the day we met. Tongues of deceit and friend of the flesh, I despise my heart for listening to your lies. Betrayer of friendship, master destroyer and lord of the heartless, I remember your sting. Backstabber and devourer of trust, you took when I least expected. You who took what should be freely given, I am but your latest victim.

Robbed of my precious dignity, I sulk on the misery I find myself in. I seek what was taken, the light that illuminated my soul and prided my heart. I look for recourse for the pain I felt and the insanity I defied. I search for justice, the immortal God karma to avenge my disgrace and humiliation. I moved from place to place seeking he who dwells within the night, I asked and search but no one saw anything. It was a hopeless quest but I kept on searching until all semblance of hope was lost. At that moment, I accepted because there was no other thing left but to move on. I may moved on but I will never forget, as parts of me still seek my treasure which was taken.


Ismail Issa


Lover of Books, Writer, Digital Marketer and Tech gadget freak. My philosophy is simple "Plan, Pray and Be Patient".