Agony Aunt series

Agony Aunt series

ASK MaryJane

Hi readers,

MJ here. Because this is our very first post on the magazine, we have decided to share one of our reader’s stories with you today. Our troubled friend Sarah (real name withheld) is in a bit of a tough spot. Let us read ahead and find out what she has to say and how Aunt agony can soothe her fears.

Dear MaryJane,

I’m in a conundrum. You see, I have this issue with my boyfriend. We started dating a couple of months ago and for the first few months, I had never been so in love. He treats me right. We go shopping together, watch telenovelas together and sometimes, he even helps me apply my makeup.

One day, I was going through his phone and I noticed that most of the pictures he has are of male models in tight briefs. When I joked about it he got angry and after arguing, he didn’t talk to me for a week. I later apologised to him and he explained that the pictures were merely motivating him to get his dream body.

A few weeks later, I went to visit him in his room and he had a new roommate and when I introduced myself as his girlfriend, his roommate David, just gave me a very weird look and ignored my existence.

Ever since then, my boyfriend has refused to let me spend the night, saying that he doesn’t want to inconvenience his roommate on their shared bed. Lately, I’ve noticed he acts strangely whenever we are all the same room together and rumours have been flying around that they are homosexuals.

I didn’t know how to ask him about it, so I did some investigations on my own and found out from his classmates in secondary school that he was actually caught making out with guys in secondary school.

I grew furious about everything, the rumours, his annoying roommate, everything. So I finally confronted him about it. At first he kept on denying it until he finally came clean later that he was just exploring when he was younger. He promised that it was all in the past and begged me not to leave him.  I told him I’ll think about it, but we are on a break now.

I really need your help to decide on my next line of action, I still really love him and I want to believe that he has changed. 

 

Sarah.

 

Hello Sarah,

First of all I want to congratulate you on being the first to write me. Now, I have to say, you always have a choice and you already know what it is you want to do subconsciously, all I’m here for is to guide you through the whole process.

Secondly, I would like to applaud your investigation/interrogation skills. You went as far back as asking his secondary school mates. In one small corner of my wild imagination, I’m picturing you messaging all his Facebook classmates and asking them about boo. I’m not encouraging snooping or anything, all I’m saying is that, if you’ve got and itch, you scratch it and it appears your bf has an itch for the D. but, I’m getting way ahead of myself.

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Let’s address the situation at hand, shall we? You say your bf has hot and steamy male model pictures on his phone and he tells you it is motivational… Hian, it is in a way o, depending on the muscles he is motivating.

And now he has a roommate, whom I’m assuming is his jealous gay partner that is making you uncomfortable, while they are sharing the same bed. I’m going to go ahead and bet that that’s not the only thing they are sharing, if you know what I mean…

Well, my verdict is pretty simple following the evidence brought forward. As Lady Olena put it ever so lightly, ‘’your boyfriend enjoys swallowing the sword’’ (if you haven’t watched Game of thrones yet, you are sleeping on an immobile bicycle) and you are most likely, the girl he’s using as a beard, that is, the girl who he dates to kill the rumours. This obviously is not working out very much for him, or else, we wouldn’t be having this semi-conversation.

Now, if you claim to love him enough, you too can decide to explore your sexuality with him and his jealous roommate. Last I checked, that’s a 14-year jail sentence. Don’t let Bob risky and Jacorrb fool you, auntcle is rich and has sugar daddies in high places. If you’re not up for a threesome, then I strongly suggest you take that love, lock it in a casket, dump it in the middle of an ocean somewhere and sail away to your happily ever after with that cute sailor that brought you there. Sailor o, not fisherman, you gats have standards.

On a more serious note, the relationship is already heading for destruction, seeing that boo is still sharing a bed with ex-lover and having sexually arousing photos on his phone. The bible says keep away from temptation, if he claims to be a changed man, he might very well keep away from the things that will cause him to go back to his former life if, indeed, it’s in the past.

Well, I hope I have helped lead you to the path you subconsciously know you need to go down. Thank you for sharing your story. If you don’t trust my judgement enough, you can leave it to the rest of the readers to decide, in the comments section below.

With much love & common sense

Your AuntAgony,

MaryJane.

Ismail Issa

ismailissa11

Lover of Books, Writer, Digital Marketer and Tech gadget freak. My philosophy is simple "Plan, Pray and Be Patient".